Tag Archives: relationships

For over 75 years, this famous study has tracked the lives of 724 men. This was the strongest predictor they found for a happy and healthy life. What keeps us happy and healthy as we go through life? If you think it's fame and money, you're not alone – but, according to psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, you're mistaken. As the director of a 75-year-old study on adult development, Waldinger has unprecedented access to data on true happiness and satisfaction. In this talk, he shares three important lessons learned from the study as well as some practical, old-as-the-hills wisdom on how to build a fulfilling, long life.   Robert Waldinger · Psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, Zen priest Robert Waldinger is the Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the most comprehensive longitudinal studies in history.  
There is No Love Without Lightness It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. — Aldous Huxley, Island It’s understandable to hear ‘non-attachment’ as ‘avoidance,’ and ‘lightness’ as ‘unengaged.’ But this is to misunderstand the real nature of good love, and loving with care. Love means engagement—without clinging. It means care—with release. There is danger in ‘loving too hard.’ The Danger to Your Beloved Sometimes children make this mistake with small animals. They ‘love’ them so much that, in their rapture over holding or ‘hugging’ them, they inadvertently crush or suffocate them. It’s a dark and painful realization, but illustrates the very real dangers of mis-channeling love beyond ‘care.’ Of loving too hard. Of holding too tightly. There is danger in ‘loving too hard.’ We’d like to think this heartbreaking
https://youtu.be/iCvmsMzlF7o Brené Brown studies human connection -- our ability to empathize, belong, love. In a poignant, funny talk at TEDxHouston, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity.
Many spiritual teachings instruct us to be detached from the outcomes that we’re going after. There’s merit to that, but there’s a really important, sanity-saving distinction to make. It’s the difference between detachment and non-attachment. And it’s a big difference. Detachment is hard on your heart — and it actually creates blocks to what you want. Non-attachment, on the other hand, is actually nourishing, and much easier to put into practice. DETACHED is rigid; a bit chilly, a tad cranky; like an uptight intellectual, cut off from his/her heart. And here’s the thing, detachment is often a cover up for fear — fear of not getting what you want. Detachment is defending itself against disappointment — which is why it’s a bit bitchy. There’s another way of wanting that’s both rational and faith-fuelled: Non-attachment. NON-ATTACHMENT is open and spacious. It can hold your intense longing, and it can hold possibility. Non-attachment knows that some things
When first recognizing the part that shame has played in their lives, many are amazed at — and sobered by — how influential that part has been— and what a gift it has been, in some ways. It is as if a lost province of themselves has surfaced. Shame kept in the dark keeps us in the dark. Shame may be not only our most hidden or submerged emotion, but it may be the one we shun the most. I recall a poll that asked what one was most afraid of. Dying didn’t top the list, but speaking in public did (speaking in public stripped of all clothing was not one of the items to consider). The fear of speaking in public is a fear of being shamed in public. Our aversion to directly feeling and staying with our shame is highlighted by our commonly describing our experience of it
https://youtu.be/TL1zbAJIaDI It’s time to create the green molecular building blocks that make green technology truly clean, from raw materials and production to social justice. World-renowned green chemist John Warner illustrates how we can create a new generation of biomimetic and green molecular building blocks to help us reach the “world we want.” A founder of Green Chemistry, he has published over 200 patents, papers and books. He’s founder, President and Chief Technology Officer of Warner Babcock Institute for Green Chemistry, and co-founder of Beyond Benign, a nonprofit for sustainability and green chemistry education.